I will admit, sheepishly, that this brief post is a little (or more than a little) in the self-help vein.

Call me a self-help guru.

I usually try to illustrate pieces based on my musings with examples drawn from experience. In this case, it seems to behoove me to be as general as possible without referring to actual persons except in the most general terms.

So, I will just say that my wife and I know someone whom we have had little direct contact with over the years, but whom we have to deal with rather often.

My wife and I share stories about her overbearing, imperious manner. We both find her hard to deal with, equally so.

Today, I had a brief interaction with this person. When I have to deal with her, I find myself not only reluctant to do so but intimidated beforehand.

To cut to the chase, since I don’t want to go into details, today I tried to put my best foot forward and addressed this person directly, politely when she picked up the phone. I had called her about something.

After I got off the phone, I told my wife that it seemed to go well and that it seems best when dealing with people who can be overbearing and difficult: (1) don’t be obsequious; (2) don’t waste their time; (3) be polite; (4) don’t look for trouble; (5) treat them with respect, as if they deserve it, and be as pleasant as possible.

I wonder if it may be the case that overbearing and/or obnoxious people fear that others do or won’t like them, which makes them act worse.

The high road seems to work.

 

— Roger W. Smith

  February 11, 2020