excessive consciousness

 

Falstaff. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it; apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes; which delivered o’er to the voice, the which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. — Shakespeare, History of Henry IV, Part II; Act IV, Scene 3

Under [Oliver St John] Gogarty’s able tutelage, which he decided not to refuse, Joyce began to drink heavily. At first, to assert a fancied resemblance between himself and the buoyant Elizabethans, he called for sack. The news of his ‘fall’ got round, and the day after his first night of utter drunkenness, he was teased by some young men on the street. ‘Who are these people?’ he said haughtily and walked on. Gradually he shifted from sack to Guinness’s unpretentious and less expensive stout, ‘the wine of the country.’ His capacity for alcohol was small, and he was prone to drunken collapses. All releases from excessive consciousness attracted him. … [italics added] — Richard Ellmann, James Joyce, Revised Edition (Oxford University Press, 1982), pg. 132

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I had quite a few discussions with my therapist, Dr. Ralph Colp Jr. — a scholar and reader as well as physician — about James Joyce. I was reading Richard Ellmann’s biography of Joyce during my employment at Columbia University (I could not put it down). Dr. Colp was greatly interested — the remark about Joyce and excessive consciousness struck him.

I believe that Dr. Colp saw this as an issue pertinent to me; to myself, to my mentality.

There is much more to be said — that I could say — on the subject. Such mental traits seemed intrinsic to my family and to have been manifested in my case beginning in early childhood.

It is not quite the same as raw intelligence.

A further random thought are some remarks of Dr. Colp, such as that on walks home from work he was in brown study (a British idiom that I myself once encountered in the works of Robert Louis Stevenson. meaning a state of deep, serious absorption in thought; or reverie). I once encountered Dr. Colp walking on Amsterdam Avenue when he seemed to totally lost in thought. He told me several times about how Charles Darwin tried hard to relax after mental exertion, and how Darwin was wary of sometimes thinking “too energetically.”

These were acute perceptions on Dr. Colp’s part.

— posted by Roger W. Smith

    July 2026

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See also:

drinking is one of life’s pleasures (Handel) … I second that

 

 

 

 

 

Nursing During the Civil War

 

Nursing During the Civil War

Word document above.

 

There is much to learned from these accounts, which I have assembled through painstaking research.

— posted by Roger W. Smith

  July 2026

 

total focus

 

My therapist, Dr. Ralph Colp, Jr.

My high school math teacher, Martin J. Badoian.

My mother.

Maria,the medical assistant to my primary care doctor,

All totally focused.

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I was thinking about my visit to the doctor last week and my interaction work Maria in particular. which brought this and the individuals mentioned above to mind.

She is completely focused on the task at hand,

And also, when I make conversation with her, totally focused and responsive: topics raised and observations made; on whatever passed between us.

In this particular case; topics like air travel, Portugal (where she comes from), relatives, etc.

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Mt. Badoian; totally devoted to his class — never the opposite.

And when we had the occasional conversation after school or when we once met later, totally into the topic of conversation: sorts, for example.

My mother: totally conscientious and donated to family and the task or matter at hand.

A great conversationalist.

Could switch on a dime from one to the other.

Parent and houseware. Carimg person.

Listening intently. Responding.

Never missing a thing. Rarely misspeaking.

Bringing insight and experience. to bear.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

   June 2026

 

 

 

 

 

 

beyond the whale-road

 

beyond the whale-road

\– posted by Roger W. Smith

  June 2926

Handel, Esther

 

 

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A magnificent passage::

 

 

— posted by Roger W.Smith

    May 2026

“It’s all over!” (Havlicek stole the ball)

 

 

The play happened in the seventh and final game of the 1965 Eastern Conference finals. between the Boston Celtics and the Philadelphia 76ers. at the old Boston Garden.

On April 15, 1965,

I was a freshman in college. I attended the game with my best friend Johnny Harris.

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In the closing seconds, an inbound pass from Bill Russell struck one of the basket’s guide wires. The refs went into a conference — there was a delay — until they decided that the ball should be awarded to the 76ers.

Johnny and I were sitting in the balcony, at the end of the court opposite Havlicek’s play.

Hal Greer threw an inbounds pass for the 76ers. Havlicek stood with his back to Greer; he was guarding Chet Walker. He spun and tipped the pass to Sam Jones.

I recall watching Jones gleefully dribbling out the clock

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At a point around 0:22 in the audio, you can hear the announcer saying (the audio is garbled). “Bill Russell hugs him. He squeezes John Havlicek,” as Havlicek is being carried off the court.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

   April 2026

Ed Begley reading Walt Whitman

 

Ed Begley reading Whitman

They had to write entirely from their own perspectives.

 

I CELEBRATE myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease . . . . observing a spear of summer grass.

Houses and rooms are full of perfumes . . . . the shelves are crowded with perfumes,
I breathe the fragrance myself, and know it and like it,
The distillation would intoxicate me also, but I shall not let it.

The atmosphere is not a perfume . . . . it has no taste of the distillation . . . . it is
odorless,
It is for my mouth forever . . . . I am in love with it,
I will go to the bank by the wood and become undisguised and naked,
I am mad for it to be in contact with me.

The smoke of my own breath,
Echos, ripples, and buzzed whispers . . . . loveroot, silkthread, crotch and vine,
My respiration and inspiration . . . . the beating of my heart . . . . the passing of blood  and air through my lungs,
The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and darkcolored sea-  rocks, and of hay in the barn,
The sound of the belched words of my voice . . . . words loosed to the eddies of  the wind,
A few light kisses . . . . a few embraces . . . . a reaching around of arms,
The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag,
The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the fields and hillsides,
The feeling of health . . . . the full-noon trill . . . . the song of me rising from bed
and meeting the sun.

— Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855 edition

 

It is now the fall of my second year in Paris. I was sent here for a reason I have not yet been able to fathom.

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. A year ago, six months ago, I thought that I was an artist. I no longer think about it, I am. Everything that was literature has fallen from me. There are no more books to be written, thank God.

— Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer (1934)

 

ONCE you have given up the ghost, everything follows with dead certainty, even in the midst of chaos. From the beginning it was never anything but chaos: it was a fluid which enveloped me, which I breathed in through the gills. In the sub-strata, where the moon shone steady and opaque, it was smooth and fecundating; above it was a jangle and a discord. In everything I quickly saw the opposite, the contradiction, and between the real and the unreal the irony, the paradox. I was my own worst enemy. There was nothing I wished to do which I could just as well not do. Even as a child, when I lacked for nothing, I wanted to die: I wanted to surrender be­ cause I saw no sense in struggling. I felt that nothing would be proved, substantiated, added or subtracted by continuing an existence which I bad not asked for. Everybody around me was a failure, or if not a failure, ridiculous. Especially the successful ones. The successful ones bored me to tears. I was sympathetic to a fault, but it was not sympathy that made me so. It was a purely negative quality, a weakness which blossomed at the mere sight of human misery. I never helped any one expecting that it would do any good; I helped because I was helpless to do otherwise. To want to change the condition of affairs the seemed futile to me; nothing would be altered, I was convinced, except by a change of heart, and who could change the hearts of men? Now and then a friend was converted; it was something to make me puke. I bad no more need of God than He had of me, and if there were one, I often said to myself, I would met him calmly and spit in His face.

— Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn (1939)

 

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I have a website devoted to Walt Whitman

https://rogerwsmithswaltwhitmansite.blog/

 

and have posted about Henry Miller

Henry Miller


In early stages of their careens, the following novels were written by Whitman and Miller:

Whitman

Franklin Evans or The Inebriate: A Tale of the Times (1842)

Life and Adventures of Jack Engle (1852)

Miller

Moloch Or, This Gentle World (1927)

Crazy Cock (1928-1930)

These early works are of historical interest. One can learn about these two writers and their times from them.

But …

They are not CONVINCING, do not RESONATE. It takes some patience to read them.

Both writers had to find their own voices. It was not to be fiction the third person, narration per se, or description. They had to address the reader directly, talking about THEMSELVES.

 

— posted by Roger W. Smith

  April 2026

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

new vocabulary

 

new vocabulary – March 2026

I continue to look up new words and those the meaning of which intrigues me.

See above Word document.

 

– posted by Roger W. Smith

  March 2026

 

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See also:

 

 

more new vocabulary

 

 

new vocabulary, February-May 2025

 

 

new vocabulary

 

 

new vocabulary (looked up by me in past few months)

 

 

new vocabulary

 

 

new vocabulary post

 

 

new vocabulary IV

 

 

new vocabulary III

 

 

Vocabulary: Building and Using One’s Own; The Delight of Same; Its Value to a Writer